I can be polite...and friendly if i force myself to be! I swear.
"You. What the hell do you want? ::takes out pad and pen:: Hurry up, I don't got all day."
"What? Your fork's dirty? ::picks up fork. Wipes on ass:: There you go, your highness."
"You want a free refill? FREE refil? HERE is your "free" refill. ::fills cup and throw it in customers face:::"
And other nasties... that's my practice. Jess says I can't do that.